Who’s the Next Sexy Geezer?

Okay, my bullshit detector’s buzzing right now, but I guess that’s no great surprise, considering the fact that I’ve been perusing the Wall Street Journal. Yeah, that’s the paper for people with money.

But the tagline promised something at least mildly entertaining: software that will age you to retirement age, which is allegedly still 65. Well, for those who read WSJ and have the capital to actually fund something called retirement.

"Never fear, my pretty! This will be you in a bunch o' years! Muwahahahaha!!!!"

The theory behind the software, according to the article, is that it “may be just what it takes to shock Americans into saving more. At Stanford and other universities, computer scientists, economists, neuroscientists and psychologists are teaming up to find innovative ways of turning impulsive spenders into patient savers.”

Uh, sure… Continue reading

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I Hate Comcast

I know, it’s not like this huge multi-billion dollar corporation is a person to be despised and wished revenge upon, no matter what Congress may say.

But, that doesn’t mean I have to stop hating them … it … whatever.

And I’m not the only one who thinks the world would be better off without their incompetence mucking up the monopolistic process. They have the worst customer service record compared to their peers in the global media conglomerate market.

A distinction they deserve, if my experience is any indication. Continue reading

Deck the Halls … and Anyone Else Who Gets in Your Way

Like tsunamis and pyrotechnics-related club fires, being trampled to death is generally not a fate you consider while lying awake at 4 a.m., your brain buzzing with all the horrors you manage to push back during the day with coffee, the computer, work, family and all the other things that make you forget that, like everyone else swarming across the globe, life can be gone in an instant.

But seriously, who on Long Island would ever consider being trampled to death a viable ending, especially when the great American pastime, shopping, is involved?

WalMart security guard Jdimytai Damour probably didn’t. But I bet he’s watching his family put him to rest up in heaven, or whatever afterlife he personally believed in. And I bet he’s pissed. Continue reading